2015 Recap

Photo by George Hodan..

2015 was the year that I had to admit my beloved mother is old and frail and…well, mortal. One knows parents are mortal, but one stays relatively sane and happy by not thinking about it, right? 2015 marked the point I could no longer pretend. At the same time, one of our beloved cats–Rumble, the largest, friendliest, most magnificent cat I’ve been privileged to love in a lifetime of living with them–fell ill with something our vet couldn’t diagnose and slowly declined. We lost him in the summer. I firmly believe that everything that dies will be reborn in some form, if only because matter and energy change forms but don’t vanish, but watching a slow, protracted dying when there’s not a damn thing you can do is depressing. Watching the cat was bad enough, but I was also watching my mother lose mobility and independence–she gave up driving this year, for instance. Talk about a recipe for morbid melancholy.

Add to that some health issues, the fun of menopause (which isn’t technically a health issue in itself, but can trigger some) and some financial stress and let’s just say much of 2015 passed in a blur of gray despite some genuinely good times. The mental fog wasn’t exactly great for my physical fitness or my social life and as you can probably imagine, it interfered with my writing.

Yeah, when I was thinking of bountiful possibilities, I hadn’t figured on depression being one of them. Silly me.

In the last few months, things have turned around. Coincidentally or not, the turnaround started just before Samhain/Halloween, which was the ancient Celtic New Year. My mother is still a frail old woman, but most of the time, I can accept this and be thankful she’s still with us, still in sound mind, and still the same wonderful self-described “stealth freak” she always has been, even if she has to do it in a much more limited arena these days. We still miss Rumble, but Xia the white blur of feline energy and adorable but retiring black and white Tinkerbelle joined the family in October. (Tink’s so shy we want to cheer when she comes out of the basement–but that would scare her so we don’t. Xia, on the other hand, was named after the heroine of Bad Kitty for many reasons: she’s adorable, charming and dangerous, at least to toys and furniture.) I got back to yoga and started playing outside again. The Cat-Herder and I are able to be more playful and joyous together, even though he’s dealing with some major work stress right now. The finances are looking better and so is our attitude about them. And I’ve written more words since December started, even with the holidays and other outside commitments, than I had in the previous six months.

Xia, looking calm for her.

Tinkerbelle engaged in her favorite activity, eating wet food.

2016 is looking good so far. I’m calling it the Year of Joy and Rebuilding and I’ll be talking more about those notions in an upcoming post. For now, Happy New Year. If your 2015 was great, may the awesome streak continue. If it wasn’t, may this new year give you inspiration to start regrouping.